The last 5 months have been fulled with transitions. In more ways than one, I am beginning to realize the positive impact but without a doubt I continue to speculate, analyze, and experience an unsteady eagerness of how my life will unfold.
At the end of June, I missed my International flight from Malaysia to the Philippines that was scheduled to send me back to America after a 821+/- day absence. There was no other explanation for me than luck, when another flight to leave out of Malaysia to get me on back on schedule with that original flight, Manila to San Francisco, was made possible. I had 53 minutes to get off the plane, dodge people to customs, retrieve luggage, taxi to the next airport, talk my way out of paying a fee to leave the Philippines (no $) to earn a stamp on my passport, check luggage, and finally make my way through security. Determination was set in and the focus became clear, me in the air = home.
By the end of the first summer, I had attended 3 spectacular wedding ceremonies and receptions, gone to several baseball games, tripped it to our Nation’s capital, actively sought out employment opportunities, and spent whole days sleeping...I was a hot dog away from callin’ myself a real American again. I started wearing contacts after years of sticking to glasses: all was clear, colorful, and constant. The transition was filled with fresh perspectives on traffic, physical and social media interactions, and STUFF. Some things tended to get me down, but I could deal by clearing out my closet space enough times each week to the point that I found myself at thrift stores seeking out similar necessaries I had given away.
As the summer breeze began to carry a bit of chill and swept away fallen leaves, autumn soon took over and job applications had fallen stale. Oddly enough I soon used the job application process as my weekly entertainment. Many of the cover letters and resumes that I tried my best to tailor to a specific gig felt like failed attempts at mastering a riddle I had no interest in solving in the first place. However, fall was a favorite season and happiness was imperative, therefore it was time to work.
ModCloth’s workplace is filled with encomiast people willing to express their sincere happiness for the work they do. My department is customer service, but with quite an unique flare. The creativity and innovation gathers throughout the office and spreads itself along the departments. We all as individuals aspire to be heroines and heroes, filled with inspiration and hope that we can fix a void in someone's life, even if it is done so with a dress...a fabulous dress at that.
My birthday rolled around after a month of being newly employed. 2-6. The age after 25, where I can no longer proclaim, "Oh, early twenties something..." The number feels more permanent and my life reveals a more powerful reality because of it. I was happy to say goodbye to age 25. I see myself as a more established human-being walking on this Earth with the ability to comfortable speak my age with ease and sophistication. I find that when I own it and sometimes even flaunt it, I become a believer that I am merely steps closer to my absolute happiness.
I returned home, found a job, grew a year older, and relearned my place here. Trying to transition smoothly from one life to the next has made it all more apparent to me that I am just floating along. I have discovered that I feel little pressure to need a rhythm or flow for my day to day. I do have an eagerness to experience days that I remember so vividly that I could not wait to wake up the next morning in hopes to relive those moments again. I have not really had that emotional response in a while, but I am not worried because right now it is all a bit random and spontaneous. I am not sure where my exact footing is leading me but I am certain that my particular stepping is moving me forward...oh so slightly. And even though the curiosity of 'where will I be next...?' can be a little daunting at times, I explore it with a bit of excitement. It opens up active conversations with myself frequently and as much as I have grown confident in my directions, I am still clueless. An anxious and vulnerable feeling that sometimes freezes time and allows it to creep along every so slowly. And as much as I am eager to fix the time setting of what can feel like slow motion and get up each morning with exuberance in my walk, I have accepted my clueless ways and freed myself of the stressful burden of having a plan for my life at age 26. My clueless attitude may not stay forever, but for right now it makes me lighter and it gives me a chance to feel hopeful that this year is going to do great things.
At the end of June, I missed my International flight from Malaysia to the Philippines that was scheduled to send me back to America after a 821+/- day absence. There was no other explanation for me than luck, when another flight to leave out of Malaysia to get me on back on schedule with that original flight, Manila to San Francisco, was made possible. I had 53 minutes to get off the plane, dodge people to customs, retrieve luggage, taxi to the next airport, talk my way out of paying a fee to leave the Philippines (no $) to earn a stamp on my passport, check luggage, and finally make my way through security. Determination was set in and the focus became clear, me in the air = home.
By the end of the first summer, I had attended 3 spectacular wedding ceremonies and receptions, gone to several baseball games, tripped it to our Nation’s capital, actively sought out employment opportunities, and spent whole days sleeping...I was a hot dog away from callin’ myself a real American again. I started wearing contacts after years of sticking to glasses: all was clear, colorful, and constant. The transition was filled with fresh perspectives on traffic, physical and social media interactions, and STUFF. Some things tended to get me down, but I could deal by clearing out my closet space enough times each week to the point that I found myself at thrift stores seeking out similar necessaries I had given away.
As the summer breeze began to carry a bit of chill and swept away fallen leaves, autumn soon took over and job applications had fallen stale. Oddly enough I soon used the job application process as my weekly entertainment. Many of the cover letters and resumes that I tried my best to tailor to a specific gig felt like failed attempts at mastering a riddle I had no interest in solving in the first place. However, fall was a favorite season and happiness was imperative, therefore it was time to work.
ModCloth’s workplace is filled with encomiast people willing to express their sincere happiness for the work they do. My department is customer service, but with quite an unique flare. The creativity and innovation gathers throughout the office and spreads itself along the departments. We all as individuals aspire to be heroines and heroes, filled with inspiration and hope that we can fix a void in someone's life, even if it is done so with a dress...a fabulous dress at that.
My birthday rolled around after a month of being newly employed. 2-6. The age after 25, where I can no longer proclaim, "Oh, early twenties something..." The number feels more permanent and my life reveals a more powerful reality because of it. I was happy to say goodbye to age 25. I see myself as a more established human-being walking on this Earth with the ability to comfortable speak my age with ease and sophistication. I find that when I own it and sometimes even flaunt it, I become a believer that I am merely steps closer to my absolute happiness.
I returned home, found a job, grew a year older, and relearned my place here. Trying to transition smoothly from one life to the next has made it all more apparent to me that I am just floating along. I have discovered that I feel little pressure to need a rhythm or flow for my day to day. I do have an eagerness to experience days that I remember so vividly that I could not wait to wake up the next morning in hopes to relive those moments again. I have not really had that emotional response in a while, but I am not worried because right now it is all a bit random and spontaneous. I am not sure where my exact footing is leading me but I am certain that my particular stepping is moving me forward...oh so slightly. And even though the curiosity of 'where will I be next...?' can be a little daunting at times, I explore it with a bit of excitement. It opens up active conversations with myself frequently and as much as I have grown confident in my directions, I am still clueless. An anxious and vulnerable feeling that sometimes freezes time and allows it to creep along every so slowly. And as much as I am eager to fix the time setting of what can feel like slow motion and get up each morning with exuberance in my walk, I have accepted my clueless ways and freed myself of the stressful burden of having a plan for my life at age 26. My clueless attitude may not stay forever, but for right now it makes me lighter and it gives me a chance to feel hopeful that this year is going to do great things.